Here's a modest suggestion: How about we go back to pre-recorded National Anthems before sports events, at
least the biggies like the Super Bowl?
This
thought came to me (and not for the first time) as Christina Aguilera assaulted The Star-Spangled
Banner before Sunday's game, messing up one verse and warbling like a crazed cuckoo through all the high parts. Ouch.
If the idea is really "to honor America" and not just to see some pop star playing "hey-look-at-me-sing",
a recorded Banner would serve just fine. Besides, having some Grammy Winning Recording Artist sing the anthem just
makes it part of the show, like the cheerleaders' pom-poms or the crazy haircuts on the players, and that doesn't seem
right.
While I'm on the subject...I think it's
time for a new National Anthem, one without all that stuff about rockets and bombs. For one thing, the words were written
to commemorate a battle with the Brits during the War of 1812, and we're friends now, right? Suppose "God Save The
Queen" was all about how they kicked our ass at White Plains in 1776, or burned down the White House in 1814? Would that
be very friendly? I don't think so.
I'm gonna go with "America The Beautiful"
instead. It's a stirring, anthem-like song and not as hard to sing as TSSB. Yes it does mention God, and I suppose some people
will take exception to that, but He already gets a mention on the dollar bill and in the Pledge of Allegiance, so you could
say He's got a foot in the door.
By the way, the Packers won. Hope you had them in the office pool.
Monday 2/7/11
How come the Golden Gate Bridge has all the fun? In every disaster movie ever made, it’s the Golden Gate
that goes crumbling majestically into the ocean, while the newer (and 18 feet longer) Verrazano just stands there, quietly
connecting Brooklyn and Staten Island. Happens every time: here comes the giant meteor, tidal wave, earthquake or alien death
ray, and there goes the Golden Gate again, rocking and rolling and spilling its load of hapless Prius drivers into San Francisco
Bay.
Well as a native Brooklynite, I say it’s time for the Verrazano to have some time in the spotlight. First
of all it has something the Golden Gate never will: attitude. Think the GG is going to shoot back at those aliens? The Verrazano’s
got your death ray right here, Chico. Besides, I’ve been mad at the Verrazano ever since they built the bridge approach
right through my old neighborhood, and my best friend Henry Mosziecki had to move to Jackson Heights.
Even though it’s
been 47 years, I’d like a little payback.
Sunday 1/16/11
Go Pats! Go Pats! Go.....uh, er....ummm....
(Jets 28 Pats 21)
Go Steelers! Go Steelers! Go Steelers!
Thursday 1/13/11
Two massive snowstorms in two weeks. Winter in New England...wheeee!
If you're like me, every year about this time you're grumbling about our winters and threatening to
move someplace where it never snows, like Death Valley or Guam. But then it gets to be spring, and things start
blooming and the boats go back in the water, and then summer comes and we're heading for the beach or the mountains, and then
it's fall in New England, and who would want to live anywhere else?
Then
it's winter again. Death Valley, here I come.
Monday 1/11/10
Suprisingly good games this
weekend in the NFL wildcard contests. Of course the one we're really waiting for happens this Sunday in Foxboro. I suppose
the Jets will be looking to avenge the embarrasing 45-3 laugher of December, but have they looked like the same team since
then? After they beat the Colts with a last-second field-goal Saturday their website has called them "the team
that can close out close games". Didn't help them much in Week 13...not even a little close.
Thursday 1/6/11
Found this on YouTube and I thought you might like it. Billy Joel's prettiest
song, performed by the great English choral group The King's Singers. Click
here to view it.
Monday 1/3/11
I love bananas, always have. For me, a day without a banana
on my Grape-Nuts is like a day without some kind of fruit on my breakfast cereal...just never feels quite right.
Delicious, nutritious, cheap, and available year-round. What more could you want?
Bananas are tricky things though. As Seinfeld once remarked upon pulling a bunch from his grocery
bag, "Why do I buy these things? They're good for one day!" An exaggeration for comic effect, of course, but
there's an element of truth to it. Bananas seem to go from green to brown faster than Kermit at a tanning salon.
But to paraphrase Shakespeare
(who was more of a raspberry man), the fault, dear friends, lies not in our fruit but in ourselves. Many of us turn up our
noses at a banana that still has a bit of an emerald tinge to it, or is just turning a lovely shade of beige. We must
learn to embrace the banana in all its glorious hues---become a banana republic if you will, welcoming all races, creeds and
colors of the Musa acuminata. It
will be easier than you think--just peel, eat, and smile. Your potassium level will thank you, and your manganese will slap
you a high-five.
Now don't get me started on pomegranates.
Thursday 12/16/10
Ah, Google; it's our modern-day Oracle. Got a question? No need to trek to Delphi. Just enter your
search terms and press "enter", and in a split-second the truth will be revealed.
My recent query involved Dave Letterman. I wondered about that
thing he does lately where he sprints across the stage at the beginning of every show. The man's had a quintuple-bypass after
all. Is he trying to tempt death by heart attack, or is he showing us he's got more important things to do than come
out five seconds earlier to walk across the stage before the curtain comes up?
On bended knee, I submitted my question to the Oracle. (Well, I was sitting down, so my knees
were bent).
And the answer,
as it turns out, is none of the above. Mindful of his bypass and his age (63), Dave does his mini-sprint to prove to himself
that he's still in shape, and has promised to retire if his performance starts to fall off. That's why he turns and checks
his time with Stage Manager Biff Henderson after his nightly run.
Is it the truth? I read it on the Internet, so it must be. Thanks, Google.
Our 15th Holiday Toy Drive is now history. By my entirely
unofficial estimate we did even better this year than last, collecting hundreds of toys for needy kids on the North Shore.
I was truly impressed with the talents of the young performers who came out to sing holiday songs
for us; the vocal groups from Beverly, Hamilton-Wenham, Gloucester and Rockport were very good indeed. The little kids
were adorable, and as always Senator Bruce Tarr was our spark plug, keeping the whole Good-Time Team going as we traveled
the North Shore with Santa and Mrs. Claus rounding up toys.
Thanks to all, and
to all a good night, until next year.
We
have a winner!
Didn't
know we were running a "farthest listener" contest, did you? Well actually, we weren't. But if we had been, listener
Igor Shtyhan would have won. Igor emailed us this weekend from Staryj Oskol, Russia, which is about 300 miles south of Moscow
and 4688 miles from Boston as the crow flies. Igor says he enjoys our Good-Time Favorites and wishes us prosperity and success.
Right back at ya, Igor! Those station goodies you asked for are on the way, and спасибо
за слушание!
Turkey Day 2010
I've
decided on my Next Big Career Move. In 30 or 40 years when I'm old
enough, I'm going to be Andy Rooney. Probably I'll never have the eyebrows,
but I'm sure developing the cranky attitude.
This came to me while crankily watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade this morning. As the endless line
of merchandising logos slowly floated down 7th Avenue, accompanied by reverential voiceovers urging us to acquire
the Chinese-made toy, sign up for the fee-based website or purchase the Special Holiday Edition DVD (Now At All Target Stores!),
I began to wonder where the real holiday spirit was hiding amidst all the salesmanship. Interspersed with the sales pitches
were flavor-of-the-minute pop stars lip-synching their latest soundalike hit, and high school bands from places you've
never heard of, playing and marching along in the kind of precise lockstep much admired in North Korea. (Much was made of
the fact that this was The First Time In New York! for many of them, and I thought I caught some bandmembers nervously
scanning the crowd for potential muggers.)
Strangest of all was the group dressed
unaccountably as penguins, dancing frantically to "Silver Bells", with a near-perfect disconnect between their wild
gesticulations and the song's description of a busy but peaceful holiday.
I'll bet they stayed warm, though.
Amidst this bombast, the few moments of actual music by Broadway stars Betty Buckley and Ann Hampton
Calloway seemed oddly out of place.
So...cranky enough for ya? I'll keep
working on it; in another 30 years Andy will be 121 and might be ready to retire. I'll be pushing 90 and about the
right age to take over. And I will have seen 30 more Macy's parades by then. I'll be ready.
Had a great time Saturday with the folks from the Open Door Food Pantry at the Market Basket at Gloucester
Crossing. A lovely day if a bit chilly, but as always we were warmed by the generosity of people who took the time to drop
off food for the needy. It'll be a few days before the final tally is in, but it looked to me like we were running way ahead
of last year in donations. Quite a few folks also came by to tell us they enjoyed the station, always good to hear.
Kudos to Open Door head honcho Julie
LaFontaine for the great work she and everybody at the Open Door do, and to the people at Market Basket for making us welcome.
See you next year.
It's over!
Election season is done. Should be at least a week before the campaign
for 2012 begins. Can't wait (not!).
Went to the movies a couple days ago. I won't say where or what movie I saw,
but it starred a World Famous Movie Star. Purposely got to the theater a few minutes "late" so I wouldn't have to
sit through a lot of trailers.
I then had to sit there
and watch--no joke--26 commercials! And I'm not even counting the announcements about walking slowly to the exits in case
of fire, and turning off your cellphone, and not talking during the movie. Nope--these were commercials, just like you see
on TV, for banks, cars and TV shows. Of course no one would ever put up with 26 commercials in a row on TV, but in the movie
theater there are no remotes. Enough, as someone once said, is too much!
Good movie, though.
